|
|
|
|
Home Contact Us CALENDARS & EVENTS THE OIL SPILL THE EDITOR'S BLOG DO THIS NOW GREEN IT YOURSELF NEWS PETITIONS BUILD GREEN ENERGY CONSERVATION TRANSPORTATION THE GREEN FUTURE FOOD & HEALTH HUMOR WORTHWHILE LINKS EARTH DAY COUNTDOWN ARCHIVES
|
Sustainable Living and Green Building Resource for Western North Carolina :: HUMOR :: FOREST AND TOSCA :: Episode 2: The Mountaintop Descends 'Forest and Tosca' Episode 2 The Mountaintop Descends By Peter Loewer Copyright 2008 Peter Loewer It was a lovely, late-winter-early-spring morning at Grandiose Manor, the near to the top of the mountain home of Tosca and Forest and the twins. “My love,” Tosca trilled, “I know that the maid was supposed to clean the big living-room window, but everything seems to be distant, you know, like that old Bette Davis movie where the heroine is suffering from a brain tumor and it’s dimming all--“ “Tosca,” said Forest using a vocal explanation point, “you must never jest about such things!” “Forest, I’m not jesting, and I see the sun shining weakly through the diseased hemlocks, and it’s not my mind, but--” Tossing his fringed napkin aside, he sprang up from his leather chair to leap to Tosca’s side and look out on their beloved mountains. “My love,” he said, “it’s not your brain. It’s actually a haze buildup on the glass, because one of the maids who actually cleaned the windows must have gone off and never provided the necessary second wipe!” His right hand tightened as he remembered the extra tip he gave the two ladies from Stylish Servants, Inc. -- money now wasted, because in addition to his other duties, he would have to hire a new cleaning agency. “YaYaYa,” screeched Pixie, as she ran by her parents, followed by her brother Jason holding a bent control stick for Zap the Chink, their new video game that Tosca found on the Web at the wonderful children’s store, Electric Fingers. “Stop that, Pixie. And Jason you’re older than your sister by a day--” Such threats never fell lightly on the twins, and both quickly realized just how dreadful such punishment would be. “Forest, I just can’t take much more. First it was the fog, then running this house, the constant search for good food, the noise of the children, and worst of all the terrible destruction to the view--” She gestured to the next mountain where workmen and workwomen were slowly removing the summit to build a landing strip for the new Zephyr Zeppelin route soon to be chartered from Atlanta to Asheville, and back again. “Look, our lovely view will be gone!" she said. "What difference will it make if the glass is clouded? Our lives here will be worse than clouded. Oh, can’t we get away from it all?!” “I suppose,” he said, “my great-aunt Edna in Chicago could take the twins for a month or two--” Tosca smiled and said, “--and we could go to Italy. Remember, we have that timeshare in Rome not two blocks from the Coliseum where we could again relax, have great food, and forget about your silly investment problems, the servant shortage and (sotto voce), the children, adorable as they are. We could go off to Venice for the Biennale, and see all the hot pavilions, and tour the Vatican -- something you’ve always wanted to do.” “It’s true,” he said, “but I’m still kind of angry at you for our having to miss last year's Biennale and that wonderful review, entitled 'Yang Fudong’s Seven Intellectuals in a Bamboo Retreat.'” “But Forest, remember I felt so weak and helpless when I was recovering from the hazards of that bitter winter here in our mountain retreat, and you wouldn’t leave for Miami--” “To be surrounded by empty condos and dream of my great-uncle’s old gambling casino in Havana--” “You must,” she said through clenched teeth, “forget about Cuba!” “Tosca, for you, anything. So quick, hei thee to the computer -- powered even here with wireless -- and we will search for our own new thrill. And while you do that, I’ll make sure the jet is fueled. And my aunt (again, sotto voce) can deal with Jason and Pixie until our triumphant return.” Tgh8ft2rev1mttopdescendsbb1a ABOUT FOREST AND TOSCA (AND PETER, TOO) Forest and Tosca is a parody about two privileged people of the upper crust who enjoy the finer things in life, including fine art, fine wine, fine mountain vistas, and the fineness of their love for each other and themselves. Forest and Tosca is written by Peter Loewer, one of America's top authors and illustrators of all things botanical. Peter Loewer is a popular illustrator, printmaker, writer, author of over 30 books, radio personality and activist. He is based in Asheville, North Carolina, and lives amidst the trees of Kennilworth over-looking a small lake and his partially hidden neighbors. He is a regular panelist on an popular NPR call-in radio show produced at the WCQS-FM studios in Asheville. The ongoing trials, tribulations and conversations of Forest and Tosca are part of a larger composition with the working title, "On the Green Road with Forest and Tosca." The first episode of Forest and Tosca was published concurrently for the first time on TheWildGardener.com and TheGreenerHome.com. SYNDICATED WEBSITE RADIO EMAIL tgh8thewildgardenerforestandtoscachap1bb1 |
|
